Now I know why hearts harden over long periods of time.
I think when people get hurt they either:
a) Don't care anymore (when deep down they actually do for awhile more)
b) Yes, I am hurt but it'll get better.

obviously option (a) would harden the person's heart
if they choose to think that way too many times,
until they become bitter and negative.

Although the easier option is (a),
I really don't want my heart to harden.
I can feel myself becoming a bit more bitter everytime I choose to just
shove things under the carpet (which is what I do best)

But it's so hard to be vulnerable to myself.
I am actually relieved today is a busy day because there were some things
I really don't want to think about..
But I know at the end of each day I'll still have to face it no matter what.

Every single time I feel a little upset or hurt
my brain would automatically say "Just suck it up Reb"
which now, thinking about it, its actually me just suppressing my feelings.

Guess I'll just have to press on till the semester ends.
Then I'll have more time to think about such things
other than piles of work and revision.
And I wouldn't have to face the person. (ok there I go avoiding again)
Yeah. I just need time and space.
Time and space.